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wing-tim YIP's space
This friends list is empty. May 30 some thought evoked from my beloved lau mei-kwandear X,
of course i know who u are la, my st josephian ex-fellow ah!! so thrilled to get ur mail in such a juncture of melancholy and even hopelessness... i thought its probably the "collective loss" in generation of our own.. my X asked me if there still exist something which are enough to console us.. such question is raised by a thought-to-be politically brainless person, i reckon that it is absolutely of profound significance, this question is enough to have my soul driven into deep contemplation for almost a week. finally i got an answer and promptly told her that all the stuffs she mentioned have all been dumped but are all unearthed for the sake of our masturbation to self-indulge ourselves..
do u still remember who is lau mei-kwan 劉美君? she, alongside jacky cheung hok-yau, were the legand and knockout in the showbiz in the 80s.. as their debut albums were sold over 300,000 items, such record is so splendid that it cannot be replaced by any subsequent happenings. her voice, her skill of dance, as well as her unique style, always make me unforgetable and have deeply imprinted in my soul of limited capacity... maybe its the essence of what "heydays" should mean la... i hardly adduce any splendid stuffs after late 90s which can enough console and even reassure me... maybe eason chan la if i am compelled to enumerate so...
but plz dun remember Hong Kong, in such heydays, was still in severe adversity politically, but we were still naive for the sake of being naive; selfless for the sake of being selfless.. as we were still considered the hope for the society as long as we can get all the tasks of being diligent ultimately accomplished.. as university students were still respected by general public; and such respect, as a matter of fact, used to earn us some sort of freedom and selflessness in the confined private world of ours... we could still listen to lau's perversive songs, despite possibly being nagged by parents of their wicked nature... huh!!!!
is it so ironic to make the same claim in front of all sort of reproach towards teenagers in the so-called "age of depravity" nowadays? teenagers are all attributed to be the source to disintegrate the society.. they are blamed senseless, brainless and tasteless, whatsoever... what are u feeling about that?
i am not going to say some words to support blindly our possibly senseless and brainless junior fellows, but how come our society becomes so narrow-minded to allow any room of being nonsense and tasteless for those naive novices who just got out of the traditional and stuffy form of secondary school education? whats our society going on? are ppl in adulthood all insane? so many obsessive questions hanging around which meanwhile is dauning, and even in vain, to pursue any sort of avenue, isn't it?
doesn't matter, just keep this mission of ours in mind, no matter the possibly worse situation we are currently facing... so i thought HK, as a whole, is fallen into a severe illness which the only medicine for its ultimate recovery is the consciousness through its self-reflection.
all ppl, no matter their political stance, are all indispensable to have such burden shouldered in order to search for any panacea available for our collective rescue.. democracy? i dunno... i tend not to embrace great confidence on its successful actualization without real sobering of all politicians pertaining their real social role.. democractic camp has committed blunders to lost their general support; pro-chinese group, needless to say, they always committed blunders ga la... what do we really lack of at such juncture? maybe some sort of necessary communication when being retraced to its primitive source, isn't it?
aiii,, dunno how to interpet it further, maybe its suitable to stop here, feel free also to add me upon ur msn, its dckchunghk@yahoo.com.hk, u can also surf my blog, its attached to my msn account.. http://dckchung.spaces.live.com/
cheers,
david February 28 a lovely cddear X,
this is david, maybe you feel its superfluous for me to write such a letter as we can always meet virtually to have virtual chat through all sorts of internet factilities available as msn or skype. but actually, the feeling i am supposed to express can be totally different through different means of communication... what motivates me to write such a letter is about the episode which i never forget in my life. do you still remember the night we spent in the quiet but chilly computer laboratory of our alma mater, the chinese university of hong kong? we were working hard on our project which we were supposed to finish to meet the deadline a couple of days later. we remember the ever-unachievable dream to be a student in the renowned institution of united kingdom when our undergraduate stage was wonderfully accomplished. i prefer the word 'accomplished' instead of 'completed', just because we were so confident that what we were achieving at that moment is not just a job, but instead a life-long career... a stringent line must be drawn between career and job, be aware of what donald tsang said 'i will try all my best to COMPLETE my JOB as ur chief executive'
we seem not that satisfied with the responses from our fellows and even the instructor regarding our painstaking project. i remember we were so bold to knock on eliza's door in order to fulfill our primitive desire to convince her what we did actually deserves a high grade. haha, i never forget such moment of our boldness to stand up in front of all sort of people. i dare not ask you the final grade you turned out to get, i remember i got A-...
after that, we seldom had any sort of communication, we seldom attended the same classes, and seldom worked and engaged in projects together even we were in the same courses. therefore no episode between us has ever been evoked until another moment of boldness came. that was the case after we both finished our undergraduate programme and became master students in different field of studies, you were a student in cultural studies and mine was in journalism and communication, which are so different from our undergraduate major. sorrie, i am so forgetful to mention the moment which makes both of us know each other again: you were invited to be the guest of the focus groups i conducted for the purpose of my mphil research. i remember after ur round of focus group finished, you asked me if its possible to stay behind for the next round, as the people who joined were supposed to be very different from you in term of political attitudes. i remember i felt excited not because of your initative or ambition for the quest of knowledge, but instead a hope to have a dupe whom i can use for any further organization of focus groups afterward. hahaha, hope you don't mind, because its the necessary step for any mature friendship to be established.
it seems to me that that was not a good time for you to get along with, as you were in the process to search for what you would ultimately dream for. you were feeling upset and frusrated some time, i especially remember the time you struggled whether to give up continuing your another master degree in economatics (a specical term in the field of economics) or not. i am the one who witnesses all your encounters in such a hard time, but what i really feel at ease is about your realization of the existence of GOD (you prefer the term CREATOR) through your experiences which fully burst with tears and laugh. every experience of every human beings is all about a gift dedicated to that human being under CREATOR'S amazing plan... so just enjoy what we have experienced and the precious lessons we have learnt on the high ground for our possible reflection. enjoy every clues the CREATOR has been giving us, guiding us step by step toward the right track for our success.
everything including our acquaintance from scratch is all actualized under HIS subtle plan for the sake of our self-consciousness. every pieces of experience from both of us, every pieces of words we exchange for any sort of purposes are all worth of being embedded in somewhere else which is supposed to be our companion of fidelity. remember that you have shown me your weakness of being a masculine in shatin, i also cannot help burst into tears when i got your cd which is considered to be the collection of warm and love, i feel warm especially when listening to a number of michael kwan's fantasic songs (as STAR, A BIT OF CANDLELIGHT and THE ROAR OF SKY... THE LEGEND IN GALAXY). i get to realize that i am not lonely to get this life-long career accomplished, as long as we know we are the comrades who are in readiness to face up to every challenges in the process for all sake of its ultimate accomplishment... but you know i cannot devote so much to indulging such kind of enjoyment in cantonese, as its so easy to get all my objectives to improve english thrown in the window. haha, unlike you, everything about english is so novel for me and i am determined to be another brand-new david chung after finish my studies in united kingdom, and its my first step through writing like this... apart from the purpose to express what i am really feeling, some instrumental reasons behind in attempt to achieve any sense of leap forward for my written english can also not be ruled out.
i don't dread of being honest to you, as we are comrades, the comrades embracing the same dream to get on in the spotlight in the field of social science some days later. we are not the fame lover but admit this is the main driving force for our possible advancement. don't forget our engagement in 2047 in HK international airport, hopefully i can still be alive to tell you all my amazing experience in the couple of decades to come. will have my health report received tommorrow, hopefully everything could be alright la...
the letter is so tedious to stop here, look forward to hearing all your good news about your research or whatever.
best wishes,
cheers,
david
February 23 the blog is updated for my sister's sakedear joseph,
thanks so much for your encouraging piece of words. you are right, everybody is weak in front of HIM, and what we must admit without reserve is about our inevitable weakness and limit in front of our god, or our FATHER if you like. But meanwhile, i know we are not helpless because of his ubquitious presence of care, HE knows everything about ourselves more than the amount we know, so what we should do is about to count on him, believe in his faithfulness. had a wonderful talk with my taiwanese phd fellow, the one who turned up in ccf new year sermon last friday. i think he knows quite well about my personality, i have been told the main reason which triggers my boldness to express everything i read and learnt in the language i am supposed to be not familiar with in my first year is only the primitive intution to improve my english. because i know my english at that moment is not good to have any sense of fluent and effective communication. more importantly, to be a novice in such a strange linguistic environment, i was entitled to take all the patience and tolerance of all my fellows for granted, i need not concern so much what exactly their response is. In simple word, i felt no significant pressure to show off before him, just like what i used to do in chinese university of hong kong. but don't know why, i start to be silent about expressing any my academic insight and idea. initially i thought is it relevant to my possible dropping level of confidence? as what edward said, the more knowledge or literature you have come across, the more sense of hesitation you experence especially before you are determined to say something publicly. edward said its a very common process which every mature phd students are supposed to come across and finally get it through. he would feel surprised if i told him i had never come across such necessary but probably painful step. i think i understand what he means: the process of intersubjective discussion and subjective meditation are equally important for the probably healthy and vital growth of our spirit. have thought of something i have discussed with friends last year: i, as a human being, has no right to regret anything because everything in your hand is all supposed to be nothing at the very beginning you were thrown into the world. everything in our hand are all considered to be the fleshly stuffs on the ground, these are the stuffs we are supposed to possess with up to the moment which we all enter the terminus of our life journey, no matter how long. had a friend in hong kong who got a lymph cancer in the latest stage, friends of mine always moan the vulerability of life, human being cannot do nothing in order to change anything which is supposed to be predestined. but for me, to be a christain, i may make full use of every experiences, no matter how sweet or bitter, in order to achieve the glory from god which he supposes us to achieve in his name. its more than enough if people around her can really realize the significance of life through her battle against the further vicious spread of cancer cells. so if being asked what i am going to do when the same happened to me, i think i may learn how to accept instead of resist this. dunno why i cannot help to write such a tedious letter every time, maybe as what edward said, it is my nature to tell people anything i feel, i know, i learn and i experience. hope you don't mind my probably horrible personality. final but not least, i think i am better than the time i sent you the previous email, but of course, there still exist some problems i have not meditated and understood thoroughly. maybe i should thank god for the temporaily breakdown of my ability to speak, as its the right time which i can really experience of possible enjoyment to write entirely for the purpose of emotion unleashing, because people may tease me if english is spoken like that. hopefully such kind of IDA style writing will not scare you la... anyway, thank you so much, i am determined to start my new life after a quaity sleep tonight, i am determined to face up to every challenges by contributing my 100% effort, provided that god and my beloved are always behind me to support me when i need support, hug me if i need a hug of tender. have shared so much, it is supposed to be a right point to stop. best, david January 21 new year resolutiondear X,
how are you? have had no contact for a couple of months, is everything alright for you? your career, your romance, or so... anyway, i really feel happy for you that you can ultimately find a suitable match for company of your remaining life, its amazing and wonderful under the equally amazing and wonderful but subtle arrangement from our almighty god... whats your new year resolution? i heard a joke in the past in the film starring steven chow, he was asked to make three wishes and promised to come true by the power and blessings of ding lik, a tycoon of SHANGHAI BEACH, do you know whats the first wish he made, its indeed the wish to have three more wishes, haha...
its exactly what we used to long in the past, but to be a christian, we should learn how to appreciate everything we have had so far and cherish everything which is still in our hand, for instance friendship... its important to have a fellow to count on, to hold on, just exactly the same as the need to have your another half to accompany every moments you experience, no matter laugh or tears.... so if being asked my new year resolution, it gotta be very simple, its not about to expand every wishes which we have never thought, but instead a more down-to-earth but real wish: the continuation of every steps of improvement and gain through a drop-by-drop accumulation from our life experience...
experience is really that critical to make us grow up, an evidence to make people realize its existence through a honest review on what its really been done on all of us, which is also considered to be the true but valuable relevation from our jesus christ... haha, are you with me?
so, i long to realize what your new resolution is, if any? hope we still have wonderful experience to travel in the time ahead.. just keep this faith in both of our soul, just wait and see whether this faith and, possibly, a dream can ultimately come true or not in the forseeable future... i wholeheartedly hunger this wonderful moment to come...
just update me your situation.
best wishes,
david at a hidden corner of england... January 19 letter to my host familyhi den and steph,
thats brillant to know you are alright, lets see you all on sunday...
also, can i solicit your prayer for my friend in hong kong who was discovered to have cancer cells spread over the lymph? she was diagnosed to have lympho-cancer in 4th stage (the latest stage) when discovered last week... there exists no significant symptoms beforehand except some ordinary sore throat.., and as i know, she is the kind of person who cherishes and takes care of her body so much, she does exercise and keeps practising chinese martial art regularly, so almost all her friends feel shocked after getting such news... one of my friends even moaned at the time she realized this truth, she expressed her grievance towards god for HIS cruelty to take away her beloved fellow's life so early, as she still has million of stuffs waiting for her accomplishment... life is so short, and even in imminent disappearance, that she feels pessimistic to have any plans beforehand... plan, as a matter of fact, is no use for her, even for everybody, because life is indeed something whose existence is at the mercy of our almighty god, mortal indeed has no say about all its about...
my friend i mentioned is not a christian but catholic, she truly believes the eternal promise from our almighty god.. but meanwhile as a human being who carries emotion, she is being told by her hunch that all the suffer and despair like these are not fair to her beloved fellow... den, do you still remember our conversation about god's plan, and also my testimony in church last time? ... what i always emphasize is the importance to treat life as a process, instead of an end, in order to make us realize its significance.. it is important to realize the wonderful and amazing jobs done by our almighty god, no matter how overt or covert, through the unique experiences we all came across...
frankly, i get to know whats love after i broke up with my ex, and also get to know what friendship gotta be after such shocking encounter, its all subject to what i realize in the process of experience... really hope to let her know what i feel, and hopefully what i discover, as a treasure, can actually make her realize the signifcance of life... i am also desperate to let her know my remark is absoultely not delivered as a purpose to be an irrelevant bystander, what i express is really from my soul.. of course, i also comprehend so much how courageous i could be if the same happened on me... haha, is this absoultely something called 'easier said than done'? i don't know, meanwhile i feel so sorry not being able to visit her and witness what she gonna experience and come across, hope that she, together with all her beloved, can walk through such difficult time, hope also they can ultimately accomplish all the difficulties and challenges ahead hand-in-hand...
i think her mum is the person who has suffered so much... late discovery of cancer makes this little daughter lose her temper, her mum, her initmate battle companion at such critical juncture, is always the target whom she expresses all her uneasy feelings and even grievance to... so the prayer is not only for her, but also, more importantly, for her family, her other beloved fellows and friends... hopefully they can all be empowered to face up to every uneasy moments and adversities, hope they can be all provided with courage and hope, in regard to every distress and anguish...
i am updated her latest situation every day, i am delighted to know today her mum starts to be optimistic towards her daughter's future.. according to my friends in hong kong, auntie always shares with them what she hopes, what shes desperate to do after her daughter's recovery; anyway, its a good start and implied a good fortune for her daughter to combat the devil of illness. she just finished her first week treatment of chemotherapy... i know, its still miles to go before the destination, some side effects of chemotherapy appear, she feels difficult to talk because her throat and oesophagus is so painful as being burnt, she cannot eat properly and only food in fluid forms can be taken... hope she can be brave enough to hang in, to persist her faith in order to pass through all these necessary but critical tests... i really long to witness another brand-new XX after her victorious combat is proclaimed...
sorrie to deliver you again another tedious email, and also sorrie that i forget to tell you what the name of that brave cancer combator is... she is XX, my ex-master classmate in hong kong
my final piece of word: life is always supposed to be vulnerable and elusive... i, to a certain extent, agree so, provided that we used to be so aggressive, in terms of the attitudes, towards our life... god is so faithful that we can pass everything which we are all not potent to worry about and take care of to HIM... i realise such faith and i am therefore not impulsive any more to blame what god has done on our life, especially at the moment of depress and anguish ... and it doesn't matter whether life, in nature, is really vulnerable and elusive or not, because my faith empowers me so that our interpretation of life is all subject to our god's decision, no matter how sweet or bitter it could be... all these produce all-amazing and exciting episodes which are indeed the constitutents of our equally wonderful life... another piece of word which is absoultely behind the time: what makes life significant is absoultely not its length, because we all have no idea how long exactly our life should be, but instead our attitude towards its continuous light-up... how to make its continuous light-up more meaningful and contributive, no matter how little (but subtle and minute). and lyeaeast but not least, the end of life on earth doesn't mean the end of everything, every accomplishment we made for its continous light-up is all memorized and realized by all the people around us and, more importantly, our almighty god...
a piece of word from my teacher suddenly comes up my mind: there will be no such thing called worse-off (or loss) if you are doomed to be penniless at the very beginning which you have been thrown innocently into the world of intricacy; and also penniless at the very last minute you are required to leave this world of intricacy regardless of any reasons... thats right, we are all beholden, not taken for granted, to enjoy every moments of our lighting up, no matter the way it has been consumed, because we are all provided with free will to deal with every crosswords in our life, despite the fact that clue is always given from god to guide us a right direction.. such aftertaste is really that fantasic after the fact that you can grasp again something which is supposed to lose, or you take no notice on its existence or even, its disappearance.. but ironically, its also an attitude adopted by someone so-called hooligan or desperado... maybe to some extent, their philosophy of survival can also be our mirror of reflection, from which we can dig out some nutrients for our spiritual growth... haha!!!
anyway, another tedious mail dedicated to my beloved den and steph, definitely its the point to stop... look forward to see you on sun, i absoultely cherish what we experienced in the previous year and will experience in the years to come...
best wishes,
chor-kit
XXXX
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